RELATIONSHIPS + SOCIETY + LOTTERY

RELATIONSHIPS

It can be observed, in most successful marriages or long-term intimate relationships between men and women, that the roles extend beyond that of lovers. Ideally, the people involved are best friends, trusted confidants, appreciative audiences, sympathetic advisors etc. They behave loyally as though they were blood relatives. The man assumes a near fatherly position in many aspects of the relationship, providing, nurturing and protecting the woman as he would his children. The woman also acts as a mother to the man in many ways, in the support, nurturing and protection that she would provide her children.

Life partners may be competitive without eroding the relationship. Handling of controversial issues, personal or academic, that lead to adversarial attitudes and heated debating can help each to grow intellectually and emotionally. But while strong bonding will weather many storms and emerge stronger each time, weaker bonds may not stand the test. So much depends on the variable nature of individuals and how well each mate can tolerate mutual conflict. Many relationships thrive on open voicing of opinion and each mate in these instances would find mates duli and unattractive who were careful and guarded in their reactions. Some, who tend to become sullen and uncommunicative when faced with slight disapproval, must be careful to choose someone who will be especially tactful, teach themselves to be less easily offended and more expressive, or prepare to be satisfied with living alone.

Physical attraction is the usual initiating influence that leads to acquaintance and is therefore perhaps the prime factor in preserving the species. While generally characterized as superficial and based on popularized imagery, physical attraction, in the selection of a life partner, may extend as deeply into the matter of our instinctive responses as it commonly does in other species. There are many subliminal aspects to the matter of physical attractiveness that signal deeply emotional responses, as well as the more obviously superficial. Our subconscious reactions may well be much more reliable than our conscious ones, which tend to include such extraneous factors as peer approval and pride of conquest. A truly careful consideration should not be so concerned with the superficial that we ignore those basic reservations and inspirations that we sense but can't quite explain. No amount of counseling assistance can ever repair the ruptures that result from fundamentally incompatible natures, just as no amount of conflict and troublesome events can truly alienate those pairings of truly compatible natures. Once their relationship is established, a voluntary disassociation would be unthinkable, except during those moments of exasperation and anger which can seldom be entertained long enough to cause serious harm.

The "Flower Children" or "Hippies" of yesteryear, who spoke so often of the importance of "Vibes" in making choices, were more perceptive than even they suspected. The good vibrations need to be there. They form a warm and firm foundation and, barring insurmountable obstacles that your conscious mind should be able to recognize, will permit the building of a beautiful, long-term, mutually rewarding structure. When the good vibrations are lacking, it is best to look elsewhere for something better. When the vibrations are bad, the best move is a hasty retreat, no matter how good the prospective partner may look.

Lawrence Edward Bodkin, Sr.

SOCIETY AND THE INDIVIDUAL

Fortuitous insights laboriously determined truths, frailties and strengths of consideration and character, knowledge and ignorance, these are found in a tenuous, ever-changing balance of human social qualities on both the grand scale of society and in each individual, as a microcosm of society. However, an overview of social qualities, at any one time, can never reflect the collective values of the individual. Such apparent social values are a result of influence; frequently by those few who have the most effective forum and are verbally convincing, but just as frequently, by those who are personally appealing and capable of inspiring emulation.

The wide variance of individuals, in their representation of human qualities, is both our most valuable asset and our most dangerous vulnerability. Because of it we have gained the external conveniences and advantages of our currently characteristic civilization. Advances in knowledge of our environment and how to manipulate it to our advantage have been many, but social unrest, due to perceptions of inequality of advantage are no less evident. Perhaps there are too many differing perceptions of justice to permit an acceptable solution in these matters.

All social inspiration must begin inside the microcosm of the individual then find a way to be heard and garner support to become a part of the macrocosm of society. The variances of society in, the larger sense, may often be extreme, but those of the individual will always exceed them. The best and the worst of society's accomplishments are always those of the individual.

Lawrence Edward Bodkin, Sr.

LOTTERY

Gambling in various forms has found federal and state legislative acceptance in recent years, despite the hard-won knowledge and protective legislation our forebears tried to leave us. At present, entrepreneurs have used the American Indian and the privileges accorded them, on their reservation properties, to build gambling casinos and add to the Las Vegas and Atlantic City operations. Most of these are not casually accessible to the general public and must be intentionally visited by interested parties, but a more insidiously invasive sort of gambling is perpetrated by the state governments with the approval of the Federal.

Lottery fever has gripped the nation for many years now and while a few of those with incomes that place them in the upper middle class or above may occasionally invest a few dollars for amusement, those who struggle financially tend to invest heavily. These are the ones who can least afford it, but they are the ones who are the most desperate to find a way out of their continuing financial difficulties and are therefore those who are the most intensely motivated. Too often, the food and rent money goes for lottery tickets and a vain chance at a perceived solution to all of their problems. Repeated advisements as to the poor odds of winning are countered by enticing advertisements, the truism that someone will win and the thought that this time, it might be them. Our poor are made increasingly poor by the futile hope of riches we continuously put before them.

The lotteries benefit a few of the individuals who win out of the millions who lose, but there are agencies that always win the lottery. The states who sponsor them gain funds, ostensibly for education in most instances. Unfortunately, when lottery funds begin to support education, state funds formerly intended for the purpose tend to be directed elsewhere.

In addition to the state benefits, the federal government adds to its Internal Revenue coffers with every win. No matter who wins, they have the IRS as a nearly equal partner.

There is a perception that the poor pay no taxes. The lottery makes sure that they pay a disproportionate amount of their money in taxes. Lottery participation is voluntary, but most pay into the lottery and then the lottery winners pay about half of their money to the IRS.

Perhaps some of the lottery prize money collected by the IRS finds its way back to the people in the form of charitable welfare support or assistance. Even if this is so, it is not particularly admirable; to take from the poor, then give back to the poor and be rewarded for it with gratitude and votes.

Lawrence Edward Bodkin, Sr.